Promises.

He's back! OMG!

He confessed. FINALLY! I was hoping for it but when it happened, I wasn't thrilled. I don't know why. I mean, it's what I want, kan? Why don't I get butterflies in my stomach when it happens? Want to know why? It's because, I already pulled myself back. Yea, I pulled myself back.



He said he liked me because I was different. Back when we had our first conversations. Then there was this other girl and I was intimidated. Yes, intimidated. I wasn't the type who falls and gets back up easily. I decided to just back off and let the two lovebirds go on with their own agenda. After all, why would he fall for a random girl like me who understands nothing about his career whilst that girl practically is in the same line as he is.



Sometimes I do feel like, I might deserve better. No wait, I do deserve better. And as Rafik would say, people don't change. They can be different but they won't change. For once, I'm actually taking Rafik's words in my head. Surprisingly. What if he's not willing to change? I understand what he does but like other girls, I'm full of jealousy. I can't stand the gossips all around about him. I can't take all that even when I'm not with him, how do I go through life when I am with him? Is he willing to let his fans run off just because he's in a relationship? I don't think so. I STRONGLY doubt so actually.



If he really is serious about proving it to me, he'd done it by now. But no, dia tak. Busy ke tak busy, text pun tak. Harapan ah nak call kan. Benci siot. Ah whatever ah kan. Que sera sera, what will be, will be. A simple "hello." would do. It'll cheer up my day okay. But ni tak. Aku tau ah busy. Certain people would actually spare some time for the one they love okay. Certain people. Guess you're not in the "certain" people category.

Question to Amad :

Me:
bila guys cakap nak call balik, they really mean they wont be calling back eh?

ahmad ghazali:
selalunya macam tu
tapi kalau betoi sayang dia akan call balik

So, I guess he does not love me as he says he does. Bummer. But for some reason, I know it's bound to happen. Oh well. What so ever. I love him, I do tapi lantak ah kan. Peduli apa dia. :) Aku naik menyampah oh fikir pasal benda ni. I'm supposed to be stressed about SPM and PROM! Not him. He'll head off for NS soon and he'll find someone new and forgets about me simply. Like I'm not used to reading the guys mind la kan.


I like you and yes, I love you. But there'll be no us if whatever I write up here does not change you. Take care hunn.