help.

i have a boyfriend. and i don't feel like i do have one. here's why, weekdays, he works. work equals money. and the money he only saves up to him after he refers to me as a gold digger. and he barely even talk to me while he works. he works from 7a.m till 7p.m. and malam balik "headache la yang" "penat la yang" "im going out w my friends". weekends i work, him, other last minute plans. but anyway,I'm seriously thinking that I'm losing it. he's not like he was last 4 months. we're growing apart. which was hard to see. I'm not for him. we're not a match. and I'm not just saying it. if you were me, you'd know what i mean. because of me, he's losing his time, money and crushes. friends too,maybe. i dont know. but what i know is, i'm really ruining his life for him. i just dont know what i did wrong. i'm doing what other girls would do if they were in my shoe. a girl comes out from nowhere suddenly asks him to hook up with a friend of her which happen to be his crush, hurts me. i know it's nothing. but it hurts. i keep on saying that i'm not for him and i'm sorry he met me and i mean it. and all he could say is "you're selfish, spoiled and a gold digger. be lucky that i'm still in love with you." dont you think that it's all bull? i mean seriously, if you were him, wouldnt you just let go? ok,here's him. he goes out almost every night with his friends. sometimes have his phone off and here i am, trying to call and i cant get through. and everytime there's a fight, and i'm not feeling that good,i'll try telling him and he would continue being mad at me. and when we're ok and it's the right time to tell him, he says that i'm keeping secrets from him. i can die without him noticing. it's that bad. he treats me that bad. but i'm still freaking in love with him. call me stupid. yea, do it. we havent been seeing each other in almost a month and everytime we plan to meet, "motor i rosak. cant u be a lil more tolerative?" "i'm not coming. sorry." "i kena gi genting." yea, and when theres time to meet, " find a way to stay longer. or i'm not coming!" i bloody hell went back late for a few weeks from work hoping he'd come and he didn't show up and now, he's saying "find a way to stay longer. or i'm NOT coming" its that easy for him huh? when its my turn to do so, he'd maki hamun like the world is his. i need him. and i called him. as following..

mim: tanak cakap dengan i ke?
him: tanak.
mim: kenapa?
him: sebab i taknak la.
mim: how long?
him: as long as i want it to be..
mim: ok,bye.
him:hangs up.
mim:*still hoping for an "i love you baby"

baby,i know you hate me telling the world but yang,i got no where else to run. i need help!i need you,baby. i need a shoulder to cry on. someone to run to when i have problems. i need you. i miss you yang. i really miss you. i love you,mohd fierdaus.